420 SHERMAN
Written by Keegan O'Neil
TEASER
EXT. BRICK BUILDING - DAY
A business casual man, KOFI 27 paces nervously in front of a brick building while speaking into a cellphone.
MONTAGE
KOFI
Please Kelsey, if you could just
Please Kelsey, if you could just
give me another week I could get it all figured out.
KELSEY (V.O.)
I gave you another week last week, we agreed I’d get the apartment, you’d move out, and I’m honestly so tired of having the same conversation with you. I know you have trouble with change, but this is necessary, you have to move on.
KOFI
I’m trying, and I’ve been looking,
I’m trying, and I’ve been looking,
believe me, there’s nothing out here. It’s just one terrible place after another.
KELSEY (V.O.)
Come on! They can’t all be that bad.
-Kofi stands in a dilapidated and mold covered apartment with an apartment manager, a half dozen slow leaks surround him. a new leak springs just above him dripping onto the top of his head.
-Another apartment this time loud experimental jazz can be heard coming from another room.
APARTMENT MANAGER
Hope you like jazz, we try to keep
Hope you like jazz, we try to keep
it down but sometimes the tunes just take us over. We practice a few times a week at least.
-A seemingly fine apartment, KOFI opens a cabinet to see a large rat mid labor, squeaking and squealing in an unholy way, a rat doula sits besides the rat giving birth, both stop and stare into Kofi’s eyes. Kofi stares back hard unable to remove his eyes from the disgusting scene.
-Exterior of another building KOFI looks hopeful, then looks next door to see an improv theater crawling with people one crosses and hands Kofi a flier that reads “Three shows a night! Every night!” Kofi sighs and crumples the flier before he walks away disheartened.
-KOFI speaks with another apartment manager while fighting can be heard through the walls. Suddenly a fist flies through the wall.
APARTMENT MANAGER 2 We’ll get that patched up.
A face peaks through wall and glares at Kofi.
UNRULY NEIGHBOR Hey neighbor! Sorry about the
noise!
UNRULY NEIGHBOR 2 (yelling)
Oh don’t try to change the subject! I’m not done with you goddamnit!
EXT. BRICK BUILDING - DAY
KOFI (sighs)
None of them were quite the right fit.
KELSEY
Well, you better find something
Well, you better find something
soon, my new roommate is moving in tomorrow.
KOFI
Oh, is that what you’re calling
Oh, is that what you’re calling
him?
KELSEY Don’t start.
KOFI
Can I at least come by the shop? I
Can I at least come by the shop? I
need to get some work done.
2.
KELSEY
Of course you do, I think you
Of course you do, I think you
should find a new place to get coffee.
KOFI Thats hardly fa--
KELSEY
Listen, this is hard for me too,
Listen, this is hard for me too,
but you have to get it together. Get your stuff out of the apartment tonight, I don’t have time for this I have to go back to work. Just figure it out okay?
KELSEY hangs up the phone.
KOFI (to himself)
Okay... Fine.
KOFI walks to the front door of the brick building and buzzes for entry. Out of a window an ominous figure looks on. Watching his every move. The Address is shown, 420 Sherman st.
END TEASER
3.
ACT ONE
4.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
KOFI walks with MR. GREENE the older John Waters type landlord of the property. The halls are lined with red carpet and the walls are a yellow wall paper with white flower designs. Theres is white molding. The building seems like it smells like a grandmothers house.
GREENE
You see this used to be a hospital
You see this used to be a hospital
in the old days, got renovated back in the seventies. Gives it its charm I think. In there we have the chapel, and down here where the cafeteria used to be we have an activities area, got ping pong and air hockey, I’m not much for air hockey though. I’m a dominoes guy myself.
As they walk the lights behind them flicker and shadows stretch along the floors and walls and shudder. KOFI looks back just as they revert to normal. Just missing their movements.
KOFI
It’s an interesting place for sure.
It’s an interesting place for sure.
GREENE
And a fantastic location! We have
And a fantastic location! We have
great views, grocery stores, great schools, not that you really need to worry about that. Young single guy like yourself.
KOFI Yeah...
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
The two men stand in a furnished apartment. It’s clean and well put together with art on the walls with an open floor plan including a kitchen, living room, and office nook.
GREENE
So this is the place. It’s pretty
So this is the place. It’s pretty
open, last tenant really set the
place up.
(MORE)
(MORE)
GREENE (CONT'D)
Got everything a young strapping
Got everything a young strapping
lad like yourself could need, and look at these windows! Amazing light, you could get some plants.
KOFI
Yeah, seems too good to be true,
Yeah, seems too good to be true,
all this stays?
GREENE Yes sir.
KOFI
This is amazing. This is perfect. I
This is amazing. This is perfect. I
work from home so this nook will be great.
GREENE
Oh yeah? What do you do?
Oh yeah? What do you do?
KOFI
I’m a graphic designer.
I’m a graphic designer.
GREENE
Oh! My last tenant was an artist as
Oh! My last tenant was an artist as
well.
KOFI
I wouldn’t call myself that really--
I wouldn’t call myself that really--
GREENE
Nonsense! Seems like we have a good
Nonsense! Seems like we have a good
fit here. Want to talk about the business side of things or are you ready to jump on that lease.
KOFI
I mean, yeah its perfect. I think
I mean, yeah its perfect. I think
I’m game! Can I move in tonight?
GREENE
Fantastic... The unit is move in
Fantastic... The unit is move in
ready.
INT. GREENE’S APARTMENT - EARLIER SAME DAY
Greene’s apartment looks like a time capsule from the 1970’s from the shag carpet to the beaded curtains in the doorway. Greene sits in a recliner watching a ghost hunting program. Next to him laying on the couch is a ghost BRANDON, 30 when he died, slacker stoner type, watching the screen intently and speaking to the room.
5.
BRANDON
Yeah right, nice try dude, ain’t no
Yeah right, nice try dude, ain’t no
ghosts there man, typical, just because the house is spooky means it has to be haunted, what a damn cliche.
BRANDON sits up and squints at the screen.
BRANDON (CONT'D) Oh, wait, whats that? That’s
something right there, you see that? Eery.
Greene sits quietly. The intercom buzzes, he stands and heads for the door as Brandon stands and heads for the window. He stares down on KOFI as he waits by the door.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Greene and Kofi walk through the hallway again this time being followed by Brandon, Greene delivers the same speech as he did earlier as Brandon walks a short distance behind the two.
GREENE
You see this used to be a hospital
You see this used to be a hospital
in the old days, got renovated back in the seventies. Gives it its charm I think. In there we have the chapel, and down here where the cafeteria used to be we have an activities area, got ping pong and air hockey, I’m not much for air hockey though. I’m a dominoes guy myself.
BRANDON
Because I used to school you big
Because I used to school you big
time at air hockey old man. Brandon imitates playing air hockey.
BRANDON (CONT'D) And you cheat at dominoes.
KOFI
It’s an interesting place for sure.
It’s an interesting place for sure.
BRANDON
You could say that again, these
You could say that again, these
halls always creeped me out.
6.
GREENE
And a fantastic location! We have
And a fantastic location! We have
grocery stores, great schools, not that you really need to worry about that. Young single guy like yourself.
KOFI Yeah...
BRANDON
Oop, somebody touched a nerve..
Oop, somebody touched a nerve..
This guy seems lonely.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
KOFI sits at the kitchen table preparing to sign the lease agreement.
GREENE
So it’s a year lease, deposit is
So it’s a year lease, deposit is
only $300, and no worries if you need to split that up, rents due on the first, but if you need to I can let it slide for a little bit, I’m an easy going guy.
KOFI
Uh, thanks, yeah thats great, I’ll
Uh, thanks, yeah thats great, I’ll
let you know.
KOFI signs the lease, the ink sinks into the paper and glows ominously, which goes unnoticed by KOFI. Brandon materializes behind GREENE.
BRANDON Did you sign it?
KOFI Yeah, I signed.
Hmm?
GREENE
KOFI
Did you say something?
Did you say something?
GREENE
No.
Oh, uh, well its signed.
Oh, uh, well its signed.
KOFI
7.
KOFI turns around as brandon walks through the wall into another room.
GREENE
Dandy, well its ready for move in
Dandy, well its ready for move in
anytime.
KOFI I’ll start tonight
BRANDON Sweet, new roommate.
KOFI What?
GREENE Nothing.
KOFI Oh, alright.
KOFI shakes off his confusion and gazes at his new home. Blissfully unaware of the mistake he has made.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
KOFI walks through the apartment in towel, boxes lay half unpacked, and there is clutter abound. KOFI dances and sings a popular pop song to himself as he walks into the bathroom
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Still singing and dancing Kofi turns on the shower and disrobes. He hops in the shower and begins to sing louder. BRANDON now on the toilet harmonizes with Kofi. They both get very into the song Brandon now using a brush as a microphone while KOFI uses his bar of soap. Kofi drops the soap and stops singing abruptly. Brandon continues. Kofi now noticing stops dead in his tracks and throws open the curtain. Seeing Brandon, Kofi lets out a high pitched scream.
KOFI
YO! WHAT THE FUCK MAN, WHO THE ARE
YO! WHAT THE FUCK MAN, WHO THE ARE
YOU?
Kofi grabs hold of a plunger and starts holding it like he will hit Brandon and then realizing he is naked, covers himself with one hand.
8.
BRANDON
Chill my guy! Chill! Man, you
Chill my guy! Chill! Man, you
really know how to shriek.
Kofi swings the plunger, going right through Brandon. Brandon startled throws the brush hitting Kofi in the face. Kofi slips on the soap and hits his head on the tub. Knocking himself out.
CUT TO BLACK Shiiiiiiiit...
INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
KOFI wakes up in bed, wearing pajamas, confused. He looks around and sighs with relief, he begins to scoot towards the end of the bed as BRANDON enters, walking through the wall just inches from the door.
KOFI (rapidly speaking)
AH! Shit, use a door! Wait what the fuck, what is going on, who are you? Are you a ghost? Am I dead?
Kofi palms his face and checks for a pulse, now noticing he is wearing pajamas.
KOFI (CONT'D) Why am I in pajamas?
BRANDON
Okay, slow down. Let’s all cool it.
Okay, slow down. Let’s all cool it.
Take a deep breath and lets break this down.
KOFI
Why.. Am.. I.. In.. Pajamas?
Why.. Am.. I.. In.. Pajamas?
BRANDON
I put you in them, you were naked,
I put you in them, you were naked,
it’s chill I already saw what you were working with. Looks good. Really nice sha--
KOFI
Stop, just stop, who are you and
Stop, just stop, who are you and
why are you in my apartment.
BRANDON (V.O.)
9.
BRANDON
I’m Brandon, and I used to live
I’m Brandon, and I used to live
here, so now I haunt here.
KOFI
No, ghosts don’t exist.
No, ghosts don’t exist.
BRANDON
Yes, ghosts do exist. How else do
Yes, ghosts do exist. How else do
you explain this?
KOFI Psychotic break.
BRANDON
Oh we’re jumping straight to a
Oh we’re jumping straight to a
psychotic break now? Have you ever had an issue like this before?
No.
KOFI
BRANDON
Then whats more likely, you having
Then whats more likely, you having
an out of the blue psychotic episode or the possibility that ghosts exist an I’m one of them?
KOFI Damn, you’re right.
BRANDON I’m right.
KOFI
I’m starting to freak out. I can’t
I’m starting to freak out. I can’t
breathe.
BRANDON
Hold on man just follow me, in and
Hold on man just follow me, in and
out... in and out... in for four... out for four...
The two stare each other slowly breathing. Each counting their breaths and calming down. This goes on for almost too long.
KOFI (shaking out of it)
Shit! I have so much work to do, Kofi picks up and checks his alarm clock.
10.
KOFI (CONT'D)
I’m so late for a deadline. We’ll
I’m so late for a deadline. We’ll
deal with this later.
KOFI stands and exits the room in a dazed state.
KOFI stands and exits the room in a dazed state.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Kofi sits as his computer, surrounded by half unpacked boxes and personal items strewn about. Clothes draped over the couch, pictures laying on the desk, framed posters leaning against the wall, kitchen tools on the floor. Kofi taps his feet anxiously and stares daggers into the screen. He blinks purposefully and rubs his temples. Brandon walks through the room surveying the carnage of unfinished unpacking.
BRANDON
How can you work like this?
How can you work like this?
KOFI I can’t...
BRANDON
I mean I would’ve been fine, but
I mean I would’ve been fine, but
chaos is kind of my brand. You get me?
KOFI
Yeah... I get you... You know what?
Yeah... I get you... You know what?
Kofi slams his laptop shut and stands up with
KOFI (CONT'D)
I’m putting this place together
I’m putting this place together
now! No more procrastinating.
BRANDON
You sure this isn’t just a
You sure this isn’t just a
different style of procrastinating?
KOFI
I can’t work until I get this place
I can’t work until I get this place
together. This is necessary. I’ll just clean up a little bit and gets some work done. I’m not procrastinating.
BRANDON
Sure. Do your thing. I’m going down
Sure. Do your thing. I’m going down
to Greene’s to use his HBO MAX.
END OF ACT ONE
a start.
11.
ACT TWO
12.
MONTAGE
- Kofi picking from a large pile of clothes and hanging them in the closet.
- Kofi stares at his computer screen.
- Kofi putting away dishes in the kitchen.
- Kofi lazily moving his cursor across his computer screen, repeating the motion of making something larger and smaller in an editing software.
- Kofi hanging art on the walls next to art that was already there. Looking satisfied.
- Kofi staring at his computer again this time his hopeful looks slowly shifts to dread. He types “Fuck” He puts his head in his hands.
- He folds the now empty boxes
- Kofi dumps the boxes in the dumpster outside
- Kofi dumps the boxes in the dumpster outside
- Kofi sits on the couch in the now clean apartment using a dating app on his phone defeated.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Kofi stands alone in his apartment now fully unpacked and organized, he looks around the room satisfied until his gaze lands on Brandon. He loses his satisfied look, now clearly annoyed by the unwanted presence of his ghostly companion.
BRANDON
Honestly, I would’ve kept the couch
Honestly, I would’ve kept the couch
angled towards the wall, you can get a better view of the TV.
KOFI
Yeah, you mentioned that, a few
Yeah, you mentioned that, a few
times. I like it like this it opens up the room. Gives me more room for plants.
BRANDON
Yeah but you don’t have any plants.
Yeah but you don’t have any plants.
When I lived here I couldn’t keep any alive anyway. Not enough light.
KOFI
There’s plenty of light. Did you
There’s plenty of light. Did you
water them?
BRANDON
I mean, yeah, occasionally. When
I mean, yeah, occasionally. When
the feeling struck.
KOFI
See thats the prob--
See thats the prob--
A knock on the door interrupts this petty argument. Kofi crosses the room to the door.
KOFI (CONT'D)
This is my sister and her wife can
This is my sister and her wife can
you please be chill.
BRANDON
They wont even know I’m here, for
They wont even know I’m here, for
real, pretty sure only you can see me, I mean, pretty much just you.
KOFI
Wait, what do you mean by pretty
Wait, what do you mean by pretty
much? You know what? We’ll talk about this later, just be cool.
BRANDON
Got it, I’m chill as hell.
Got it, I’m chill as hell.
Brandon lays down on the couch as Kofi opens the door. Enter BRI (30s) dressed professionally, and put together, a business type with a cropped haircut and ANGELA(20’s) typical witchy type person, someone eager to talk about home remedies and crystals Bri rushes in and looks around as Angela leisurely saunters in.
BRI
Nice place, looks good. Where’s
Nice place, looks good. Where’s
your bathroom.
Kofi points down the hall and Bri rushes into the bathroom.
Kofi points down the hall and Bri rushes into the bathroom.
ANGELA
Yeah, this is way more put together
Yeah, this is way more put together
than I thought it’d be considering, you know, what happened with Kelsey.
KOFI
I don’t want to talk about it.
I don’t want to talk about it.
13.
ANGELA
Fair enough, I mean, I would’ve put
Fair enough, I mean, I would’ve put
the couch angled more towards the wall, gives you a better view of the TV.
BRANDON EXACTLY
ANGELA
But I guess this way it gives you
But I guess this way it gives you
more room for plants.
KOFI
See, thats what I was thinking.
See, thats what I was thinking.
Kofi and Brandon exchange looks.
ANGELA
Kind of a weird energy in here.
Kind of a weird energy in here.
KOFI What do you mean?
BRANDON
Yeah, what’s thats supposed to
Yeah, what’s thats supposed to
mean.
ANGELA
Just like, feels like it could use
Just like, feels like it could use
a cleansing. I always cleanse a new place when I move in. Keeps away restless and malevolent spirits.
BRANDON
Oh, this is some straight up
Oh, this is some straight up
nonsense.
KOFI
You know what that’s not a bad
You know what that’s not a bad
idea.
BRANDON
You really falling for this? Damn
You really falling for this? Damn
dude, this hurts, trying to get rid of me already.
KOFI Shut up.
What?
ANGELA
14.
KOFI
Nothing. Don’t worry about it.
Nothing. Don’t worry about it.
ANGELA Okay...
The three sit quietly for a beat. Uncomfortably soaking in the silence that only occurs during an interaction between people with little in common other than a relation to a particular person they both care about.
BRANDON
Wow this is super uncomfortabl--
Wow this is super uncomfortabl--
Bri returns from the bathroom.
BRI
That’s a decent bathroom, but you
That’s a decent bathroom, but you
could really use a bidet, they sell attachments for like any toilet now, you can get them for like seventy bucks.
KOFI
Oh thats cool, I’ve never used one.
Oh thats cool, I’ve never used one.
BRI
Truly a game changer. I’ve never
Truly a game changer. I’ve never
felt cleaner.
Bri crosses the room and pulls Kofi into a tight unrequited hug.
BRI (CONT'D)
I’m sorry you’re going through it.
I’m sorry you’re going through it.
I wish Mom was around.
KOFI
It’s okay, she’s just in Florida
It’s okay, she’s just in Florida
dude.
BRI
Yeah, but not like she’s going to
Yeah, but not like she’s going to
call or anything, she spends all her time with fricken Ron.
KOFI Fricken Ron.
BRANDON Whats wrong with Ron?
KOFI Shush
15.
What?
ANGELA
KOFI
Just clearing my throat.
Just clearing my throat.
BRANDON
Pretty weird way to clear your
Pretty weird way to clear your
throat.
KOFI (clears throat
dramatically)
BRI
You feeling alright?
You feeling alright?
KOFI
Yeah, I’m fine, but you know what
Yeah, I’m fine, but you know what
Angela, I might not be opposed cleansing this place. Start fresh.
BRI
Oh she got you on that train?
Oh she got you on that train?
ANGELA
I can totally do that! Let me get
I can totally do that! Let me get
my stuff.
Angela reaches into a huge tote bag she’s been lugging around, she digs around for a beat.
BRANDON
This is going to be fun. I’m
This is going to be fun. I’m
excited.
Angela pulls out various crystals and plants them in the corners of the room and then pulls out the biggest bundle of sage you can imagine and a bundle of palo santo wood.
BRANDON (CONT'D) Isn’t buying that stuff super
insensitive to some cultures? This seems kind of problematic.
ANGELA
Alright, every one just relax and
Alright, every one just relax and
I’m going to get started.
Angela lights the wood and waves it around haphazardly then places it down and lights the sage. She begins to circle the room while humming to herself. This is almost offensive.
16.
BRI
So she left you for that yoga guy
So she left you for that yoga guy
huh?
KOFI
She didn’t leave me for him. She
She didn’t leave me for him. She
just left me. And now he’s moving in. It’s unrelated.
BRI
Yeah, totally unrelated.
Yeah, totally unrelated.
BRANDON
Oooooooh, you feel that? This feels
Oooooooh, you feel that? This feels
weird.
KOFI
I think what we had was too intense
I think what we had was too intense
for her. And this guy is simple. I mean, the relationship is simple. Like, this is just a rebound. We’ll probably get back together.
Brandon is now following around Angela, following the smoke and grinning ear to ear, visibly red eyed and stoned.
BRANDON
Ohh man, This is great. Keep it
Ohh man, This is great. Keep it
going.
BRI
That’s not a super healthy way to
That’s not a super healthy way to
think. Like even if you ever got together there will be this toxic energy. This just isn’t a good idea. Just let her go.
KOFI
I just know she’s going to regret
I just know she’s going to regret
this. She’ll miss me.
Kofi is now looking visibly upset, in contrast to Brandon looking relaxed, now red eyed and beaming.
ANGELA
All done. Doesn’t it feel much
All done. Doesn’t it feel much
better in here?
BRANDON Yeah, this is great.
(chuckles uncontrollably)
Brandon glides back towards the couch and lays down giggling.
Brandon glides back towards the couch and lays down giggling.
17.
BRI
We’ve gotta get to dinner, you want
We’ve gotta get to dinner, you want
to come along?
KOFI
No, that’s okay, I have stuff here.
No, that’s okay, I have stuff here.
And work to do.
BRI
You always have work to do.
You always have work to do.
KOFI
You’re telling me, I’m super
You’re telling me, I’m super
behind.
ANGELA
Make sure to take a break soon. I’m
Make sure to take a break soon. I’m
going to leave some of this sage, burn it when you meditate it will help center you. Love your new place. We’ll see you soon?
KOFI
Sure. Thanks. Yeah, come back
Sure. Thanks. Yeah, come back
anytime.
Bri and Angela head to the door. Kofi follows out.
BRI
I love you brother, stay cool.
I love you brother, stay cool.
KOFI Love you too.
Kofi shuts the door behind them and rests his
door and sighs. He slowly turns around to see
sleeping soundly on the couch. He crosses the room and lays a blanket on top of a the stoned ghost. The blanket slowly drifts through Brandon.
door and sighs. He slowly turns around to see
sleeping soundly on the couch. He crosses the room and lays a blanket on top of a the stoned ghost. The blanket slowly drifts through Brandon.
BRANDON
(mutters in his stupor) can’t get
(mutters in his stupor) can’t get
rid of me that easy... gotta finish my business.
(Smiles and makes eye contact) Whatever the fuck that is...
(Smiles and makes eye contact) Whatever the fuck that is...
Kofi stares at Brandon for a beat before returning to his desk and sits staring at his computer screen. He stares at his work for a bit before opening a search engine window and types in Brandon’s name, procrastinating again.
to see them
head on the Brandon
18.
END OF ACT 2
19.
ACT 3
Computer screen shows “Artist dies in mysterious circumstances” article reads “police conclude death is an accident.”
Kofi looks towards Brandon sleeping sloppily, snoring and slobbering and muttering to himself.
KOFI Damn, poor guy.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Kofi crosses the hallway to the door across the hall, there is a raucous sound coming from behind the neighbors door. Kofi apprehensively knocks on the door.
BECKA (V.O)
ONE SECOND!
KOFI (quietly)
Okay.
BECKA the attractive across the hall neighbor cracks the door and peaks her head out. The noise now louder. Slamming of cabinets, breaking of glass, pots and pans clashing. A true cacophony.
BECKA Hey, whats up.
KOFI
Hi, I’m Kofi and I live across the
Hi, I’m Kofi and I live across the
hall.
BECKA
(speaking loudly to try
(speaking loudly to try
and talk over the sounds) Hi, I’m Becka! Sorry about the noise.
KOFI
Oh no worries honestly
Oh no worries honestly
Kofi peaks into the door only for Becka to close the door further.
20.
INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY
BECKA
Chill chill, what can I do for you?
Chill chill, what can I do for you?
Need to borrow some butter or something?
The sound is now getting louder and more aggressive
KOFI
(Raising his volume to get
(Raising his volume to get
over the sound)
I was actually wondering if you know anything about the guy who lived in my apartment before me?
I was actually wondering if you know anything about the guy who lived in my apartment before me?
Thee sound is now so loud both look concerned. Becka keeps looking back into the apartment.
KOFI (CONT'D)
You know what, you seem busy. Maybe
You know what, you seem busy. Maybe
we can chat later.
BECKA
Yeah that’d probably be good. I’ll
Yeah that’d probably be good. I’ll
talk to you later.
Becka shuts the door quickly. Kofi crosses the hallway back to his apartment.
BECKA (CONT'D) (v.o)
FUCK! Stop! Please!
INT. APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Kofi sits at his computer. He puts his hands on his keyboard and mouse and sighs. He looks towards the sleeping Brandon before standing up and heading to the door.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE GREENE’S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Kofi knocks on the door of Greene’s apartment, moments later Greene opens the door.
GREENE
Kofi! How are you settling in!
Kofi! How are you settling in!
KOFI
Fine, thanks. I was wondering if
Fine, thanks. I was wondering if
you have time to talk?
GREENE Sure, come on in!
21.
INT. GREENE'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Greene crosses the room to his recliner followed by Kofi, Greene sits, motions for Kofi to sit on the couch, Kofi continues to stand and awkwardly shuffles, unaware of how to start this conversation.
KOFI
So, uh, I just want to talk about
So, uh, I just want to talk about
the apartment...
GREENE
Is everything going okay up there?
Is everything going okay up there?
You can come to me with any problems.
KOFI
I was just curious about the
I was just curious about the
previous tenant.
GREENE
Oh, Brandon, What a sweet guy, such
Oh, Brandon, What a sweet guy, such
a shame what happened to him. Great artist, too good of a friend, terrible tenant, but all around good guy.
KOFI
What happened to him?
What happened to him?
GREENE
Oh, it’s really unfortunate, he was
Oh, it’s really unfortunate, he was
found with a bad blow to the back of the head and died on the way to the hospital. They said he must have fallen and hit his head. I don’t know though, I can’t imagine he could’ve fallen that hard. Especially where I found him.
KOFI Wait, you found him?
GREENE
Yes... I did. He was just lying in
Yes... I did. He was just lying in
his living room, face down, door wide open.
KOFI
Then how could he of hit the back
Then how could he of hit the back
of his head?
22.
GREENE
I couldn’t tell you, the police
I couldn’t tell you, the police
said it must have been an accident and I didn’t give it much thought. I’ve seen a lot of that kind of stuff in my day, people come, people go.
KOFI
I feel like you aren’t taking this
I feel like you aren’t taking this
seriously.
Brandon is now standing next to Kofi having just materialized.
BRANDON
Damn, never told me thats the way I
Damn, never told me thats the way I
went, that sucks. Wish I could remember.
Both Kofi and Greene jump, surprised by Brandon’s arrival. Kofi realizes Greene also acknowledges Brandon and looks at him confused.
KOFI Wait can you?
GREENE I mean-
BRANDON
Oh so now I exist, you’ve been
Oh so now I exist, you’ve been
ignoring me for ages.
KOFI
So you knew that the apartment
So you knew that the apartment
this dude in it and you let me in anyway?
GREENE
Why’d you think the rent is so
Why’d you think the rent is so
cheap?
KOFI
You know what, fair.
You know what, fair.
Kofi stands stunned as Brandon glides to down. Brandon turns on the tv.
BRANDON
Ooo, The Price is Right is on!
Ooo, The Price is Right is on!
had move
the couch to lie
23.
GREENE
I’m still not used to this Drew
I’m still not used to this Drew
guy, I miss Bob.
BRANDON
I love Drew! Bob always weirded me
I love Drew! Bob always weirded me
out with all the spay and neuter stu--
KOFI
Wait! Then why can’t other people
Wait! Then why can’t other people
see him?
GREENE
Do they live in the building? Are
Do they live in the building? Are
their names on the lease?
No.
KOFI
GREENE
Thats it. For some reason I don’t
Thats it. For some reason I don’t
understand the only ones who can see our dear departed friends are those who are on the lease.
KOFI Hold up, friends?
BRANDON
Yeah, whole buildings haunted dude.
Yeah, whole buildings haunted dude.
I don’t know if theres an apartment in here without at least one of us.
GREENE
Apartment 203 is clear. For now at
Apartment 203 is clear. For now at
least. Janet’s been looking sick.
BRANDON
Oh yeah Janet. Hope she’s okay. I
Oh yeah Janet. Hope she’s okay. I
really like Janet.
KOFI
How are you all so chill about
How are you all so chill about
this?
BRANDON
I don’t know dude, this is my norm.
I don’t know dude, this is my norm.
GREENE
You kind of just need to accept it.
You kind of just need to accept it.
There’s nothing you can do. Most of the spirits in here are friendly and move on eventually.
(MORE)
24.
GREENE (CONT'D)
They all have issues to get over or
They all have issues to get over or
unfinished business. We had one a few years back that just wanted to finally watch The Wire.
BRANDON Good show.
GREENE Great show.
KOFI
Then whats your business?
Then whats your business?
BRANDON Hell if I know.
KOFI What do you know?
BRANDON
I know that toaster doesn’t cost
I know that toaster doesn’t cost
more than forty dollars. Kofi crosses and turns off the tv.
KOFI
Do you even want to move on?
Do you even want to move on?
BRANDON
Never gave it much thought.
Never gave it much thought.
Honestly... no. I like it here.
END OF EPISODE